The ZTeam
by Elbereth in April
Summary: Picture the Z-warriors as the members of the 1980's TV show, The A-Team. Then laugh. Chapter 5: The Building Scene! COMPLETE
1. Default Chapter

The Z-Team  
  
Copyright 2002  
  
By Elbereth in April and Kazam  
  
Disclaimer: We don't own Dragonball Z, The A-Team, or Sports Illustrated.  
  
The Z-Team:  
  
Vegeta = B.A. Baracus  
  
Goku = Howling Mad Murdock  
  
Yamcha = "Face" Templeton Peck  
  
Piccolo = Col. John Hannibal Smith  
  
_______ ________ ___________  
  
Theme Song Plays.  
  
On the Cartoon Network, a crack commando martial arts unit was sentenced for purging by Frieza for a crime they did commit (insubordination and bad haircuts). These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Japanese underground. Today, still wanted by Frieza, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire. . . The Z-Team.  
  
First scene:  
  
We open to see the Kame-House. Krillin and his blue-haired girlfriend, Marron, are walking by the beach. Master Roshi is sitting outside on a lawnchair reading the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. He is drinking a blue drink that despite its color looks suspiciously like beer.  
  
They look up to see four people flying towards the island. The four beings land. It is Androids 16, 17, 18, and 19.  
  
Android #17 walks up to Master Roshi. "Have you considered Dr. Gero's offer?"  
  
Roshi jumps up to face #17. "I'm not selling Kame-House. Go tell Dr. Gero to leave us alone!"  
  
#17 scowls. "Wrong answer, old man."  
  
Roshi turns to look at the other androids. "Woah! Who's the dame? Is she available?"  
  
#18 takes offense at this. "You pervert!" She runs over and punches Roshi in the stomach.  
  
Krillin and Marron come running over. "Leave him alone!"  
  
She hits Krillin, who falls over. Marron runs in circles, screaming.  
  
#18 grabs Roshi's magazine. "This is just a warning, old man. Your last one." She throws the swimsuit issue in the air, then blasts it. "You'd better sell!"  
  
Master Roshi stares in horror as the tattered remains of the Sports Illustrated float to the ground. "How could you? I had Miss June's phone number in that book!"  
  
#16 and #19 come over. "You know we should probably break a window or something."  
  
"Why?"  
  
#19 says in his annoying voice, "We're thugs. We're supposed to."  
  
#18 and #17 shrug. #17 turns and breaks a window. Inside, Puar and Oolong cower in fear.  
  
The androids fly off.  
  
________ ________ _________  
  
New scene:  
  
We see Piccolo, disguised as Kami, wearing a fake white beard. He seems to be the proprietor of a Chinese laundry. He is washing turbans.  
  
Yamcha is his assistant. "That's the fifth drycleaning machine we've broken today," Piccolo tells him. "I keep saying, take the weights out first. How are we going to uphold a credible disguise if. . ."  
  
The bell on the door rings. A woman enters. Yamcha ogles her. She looks around nervously, then asks for Mr. Kami Li.  
  
"Yes. Can I help you?"  
  
"I'm trying to find the Z-Team."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"First I went to an all-you-can-eat buffet, then a martial arts exhibition, now a Chinese laundry. I don't understand!"  
  
"We had to make sure you weren't working for Frieza," Piccolo explains.  
  
Marron stares. "You mean. . ."  
  
Piccolo removes his fake beard. Marron is shocked. "That's right. I'm Piccolo Kami Hannibal Nail Smith. You've just hired the Z-Team."  
  
_______ ________ ________  
  
They all go outside. V. A. is waiting in the van, in the driver's seat. He is wearing a bunch of gold jewelry. Piccolo sits next to him.  
  
"This weight training of yours is a joke," he rasps, scowling.  
  
"Maybe you should try silver next time. Besides, we can't carry that 300 times Earth gravity machine everywhere we go."  
  
"Where to?" Yamcha asks from the back.  
  
"We go to break Goku out."  
  
______ _______ _________  
  
The van pulls up in front of Goku's house. "Go on, Yamcha," Piccolo orders.  
  
"No! Why do I have to do it? Chi-Chi scares me!"  
  
"I'll do it," V. A. smirks.  
  
"No!" The other two yell at once.  
  
"Last time you blew the house up," Piccolo complains. "Yamcha, go!"  
  
Yamcha knocks on the door. He is wearing a white lab coat. Chi-Chi answers the door.  
  
"We have to take Goku for medical testing. For his heart condition," Yamcha says.  
  
Chi-Chi frowns, hefting her frying pan. "Yamcha, I know that's you! You want to take my husband on another one of your stupid training trips! Well I won't have it! He needs to be at home, supporting his family, not following that dangerous Piccolo around on his hare-brained, so-called rescue missions! And don't even get me started on that villainous V. A.! Goku has to be a good example for Gohan or he'll grow up to be a disturbed martial artist instead of studying all day to get into the college of his choice!" She hits Yamcha with the frying pan a few times.  
  
Meanwhile, at the back door:  
  
"Hurry, Goku, while she's distracted! We've got a job."  
  
Goku sneaks out the back door, following Piccolo to the van.  
  
Goku and Piccolo get into the van. "Hiya, V. A.!" Goku exclaims enthusiastically.  
  
"Don't talk to me, you crazy baka!"  
  
Yamcha runs for his life from Chi-Chi and jumps into the van, which immediately speeds away. Chi-Chi throws her frying pan after them. They hear a clang, but escape.  
  
"My van!" V. A. howls. "I bet she dented it!"  
  
"Why do we even have this van?" Yamcha comments. "We can all fly."  
  
Everyone sweatdrops.  
  
________ _______ _______  
  
The van is at the edge of the mainland. They can't, of course, drive over the ocean. They stare at it.  
  
"I guess we'll have to get Goku to fly us to the island in our encapsulated helicopter," Piccolo decides.  
  
V. A. jumps up from where they are sitting in the grass. "What? Never! I'm not getting in a helicopter with that crazy baka! He can't fly! He doesn't even have a driver's license! Let's take a boat."  
  
"Why don't we just fly ourselves?" Yamcha asks again.  
  
The others ignore him, except for Marron. He puts his arm around her. "Hey, babe."  
  
"I can fly, V. A.!" Goku says, grinning. "Gohan was showing me how with a book! '10 Easy Steps to Flying Without Crashing'!"  
  
"Argh!" V. A. screams.  
  
"It's all right, V. A.," Piccolo says, patting him on the back consolingly. "We'll get a boat. Here, while I make the arrangements, have some nice, refreshing milk."  
  
V. A. looks at him suspiciously, then nods and takes the milk. He drinks it and promptly falls over, as it is drugged.  
  
Piccolo and Goku give each other thumbs-up signs. "Cool!" Goku crows. "I love flying!"  
  
___________ _________ __________  
  
Review, review!! 


	2. 2

The Z-Team  
  
To our wonderful but concerned reviewers: It's just so much fun to call Vegeta by the name V.A., referring to his B.A. Barracus persona. The others have just been using their Z names, sort of by default. Though come to think of it, it might be fun to refer to H.M. "Howling Mad" Goku.  
  
___________ ____________  
  
Chapter Two  
  
H.M. Goku un-capsules the helicopter while Yamcha encapsules the van. Piccolo picks up V.A. and arranges him in one of the chairs. Yamcha silently consigns his life to Dende and sits down in the seat next to him. Marron gets in beside him.  
  
"All right!" Goku says, looking over the controls. "Hey, I recognize some of these from the book!"  
  
Piccolo grins. "Take us up, Goku."  
  
Goku claps his hands, grins inanely, and pulls back on some stick. The helicopter rises into the air abruptly.  
  
They climb higher and rather jerkily into the sky. They pass through a cloud. They come out of the cloud.  
  
"Goku!" Yamcha screams. "The ground's that way! The sky's that way! You're mixing them up!"  
  
"We're upside down," Piccolo says calmly.  
  
"Oops!" Goku tries to fix the problem.  
  
"We're flying sideways."  
  
"The island's in the other direction," Marron says, then screams, then faints.  
  
"Ooh, that was a bird!"  
  
"Emphasis on was."  
  
"Oops."  
  
"Think about that bird next time you try to do a spirit bomb."  
  
At this point V.A. wakes up. "Where am I?" he asks groggily, looking around. "What? Oh no! You hijacked me! I'm in the air! With that baka flying! You are dead! Do you hear me? All of you!"  
  
Yamcha tries to hide under his seat.  
  
"Now V.A. calm down," Piccolo orders. "You don't want to kill us."  
  
"I do! But that wasn't what I meant. That crazy baka is going to crash and we're all going to die!"  
  
"Don't worry, V.A.!" Goku calls over his shoulder. "I'd never do anything to harm you guys. Especially you, V.A. You're my best friend!"  
  
"No I'm not! Shut up!"  
  
They narrowly miss colliding with a mountain. "Goku, perhaps you should turn around and watch where you're going," Piccolo suggests.  
  
"Oops."  
  
"That does it!" V.A. bolts out of his seat and lunges at Goku, trying to strangle him.  
  
"He can't fly with you choking him, V.A." Piccolo manages to pry V.A. off of their pilot.  
  
"We're all going to die anyway! I want to kill him before we do!"  
  
"Maybe you should land, Goku." Even Piccolo's calm is starting to waver. He thinks he'll need to meditate really hard to recover from this.  
  
"Um, I haven't got to that chapter yet."  
  
Everyone sweatdrops.  
  
"You are crazy!" Yamcha screams from under his seat.  
  
V.A. falls over into Piccolo's lap. He is a completely immobile, catatonic state. Piccolo waves his hand in front of V.A.'s face. "He's lost it. The stress was too much for him." He shoves him back into his proper seat.  
  
Goku grins. "Don't worry, guys, I know what to do." He opens the chopper door, jumps out, and floats along beside it. Then he grabs the copter by its bottom skids and carries it, flying, to Master Roshi's island. He has some trouble landing, as the helicopter keeps wanting to go up, and he has to dodge the whirling blades and push it down. But they all climb out safely. Goku lets go then and the copter flies away by itself, promptly crashing into the sea about 100 yards out. The blast from the crash brings V.A. back to his senses.  
  
V.A. throws himself at Goku and starts beating him. "I hate you! I hate you!"  
  
Marron throws herself, sobbing, into Krillin's arms. Yamcha lays on the ground, twitching. Piccolo ignores them all and introduces himself to Roshi and Krillin. "We're the Z-Team."  
  
Roshi scratches his head. "Have you ever considered having some lovely young ladies on your team?"  
  
"Well. . . there's Bulma. She helps us out sometimes."  
  
Roshi's eyes light up. "Do you think you could fix us up?"  
  
V.A. stops pummeling Goku. "Don't even think about it, you lecher. Bulma's my mate! Nobody touches her!"  
  
Puar and Oolong, who have come out of the house to see what all the commotion is about, bolt back inside, where they cower in fear.  
  
"Why don't you tell us about these androids?" Piccolo steps in between V.A. and Roshi.  
  
V.A. hits Goku one more time, then everyone settles down and gathers in a circle. Roshi begins his story. "It all started a few weeks ago. These four androids came to the island and said they were representatives of Dr. Gero. He wants to buy Kame-House and turn it into a resort-spa."  
  
Yamcha looks around. "Who'd want to come here?"  
  
"I refused to sell. But Dr. Gero wouldn't take no for an answer! He keeps sending the androids around. They threaten us and break windows. The leader said next time they come, if we don't sell, he's going to throw us off the island."  
  
"I see. It looks like we'll need to meet this Dr. Gero," Piccolo says, smiling.  
  
"Hannibal's on the jazz," Yamcha whispers to Goku and V.A.  
  
"We don't know who Dr. Gero is or where he lives," Krillin says.  
  
"Next time the androids come, we'll beat them up and follow them back to Gero." Piccolo takes a cigar out from his cape and stares at it. "Where did this come from? I don't smoke."  
  
Roshi takes it.  
  
Goku begins bouncing up and down. "I know! Maybe we could make our own android!"  
  
V.A. rolls his eyes, crosses his arms, and scowls. "Shut up! You can't make an android."  
  
"Sure I can!" Goku runs around the island. He grabs some vines, a giant seashell, and some pieces of driftwood. He comes back to the circle and, with the vines, ties the wood onto the shell like arms and legs. "Now I just need something for the head. I'll call her Shelly!"  
  
V.A. growls and incinerates the whole thing with a ki blast.  
  
Goku looks shocked and horrified. "V.A.! What did you do that for?"  
  
"Stop it before I throw you in the ocean!" V.A. yells at him.  
  
Krillin, Marron, and Roshi just stare at them.  
  
"Uh oh." Yamcha jumps to his feet, attracting everyone's attention. "I think the androids are coming."  
  
They all look to the sky. 


	3. 3

Disclaimer: We lifted the idea of Can-a-Man from an episode of "The Tick." Which, by the way, we don't own.  
  
The Z-Team-Chapter Three  
  
The androids land on the island and approach Master Roshi, Piccolo, and the others. "Well, old man," #17 says, "This is our final offer. Are you going to sell?"  
  
Piccolo steps in front of Roshi. "If you want to buy this island, you need to talk to the owner of it. And that's me."  
  
#19 and #16 look at each other, confused. "I thought he owned the island," #16 says.  
  
"What do we do now?" #19 asks. "Break another window?"  
  
"Shut up!" #18 hisses. "What do you mean?" she yells at Piccolo.  
  
"Roshi sold the place to us. You'll have to deal with me now."  
  
17 and 18 glance at each other, then shrug. "And you are?"  
  
"Piccolo Kami. . ."  
  
"Yeah, whatever. Here's the contract. Sign or you'll regret it!"  
  
V.A., H.M. Goku, and Yamcha join Piccolo, surrounding 17 and 18 in a threatening manner.  
  
"You'll be the ones who regret it. Now go back and tell your boss we're not selling. So leave us alone." They assume a fighting stance, Piccolo and V.A. radiating menace.  
  
"What makes you think we have a boss?" 18 bristles. "We're not thugs," she lies baldly.  
  
19 quickly removes his hand from near the window he'd been staring at longingly.  
  
The Z-Team laugh. "You're too stupid to be doing this on your own," V.A. smirks.  
  
Krillin laughs, too. "Yeah!"  
  
"That's it!" 17 yells.  
  
"Nobody talks that way to us!" 18 shouts, glaring in particular at Krillin. "I don't care how cute you are!"  
  
There is a pause as everyone sweatdrops. Then 17 regains his momentum. "You will sell! Take that!" He launches himself at Piccolo. The other androids quickly follow his lead. 18 attacks Goku, 19 hits Yamcha, and poor 16 is left with V.A.  
  
The Z-Team dodge the androids' attacks for awhile. Then they break apart and the combatants all stare at their opponents. Piccolo smiles nastily and takes off his turban and cape, throwing them down with an audible thump. At that, Goku and V.A. grin wickedly and transform to Super Saiyan. Yamcha does a few Ginyu-type poses for lack of anything more impressive to do.  
  
"Kame-hame. . ."  
  
"Final flash!"  
  
"Beam cannon!"  
  
"Wolf Fang Fist!"  
  
". . . ha!"  
  
A few seconds later the androids are lying on the ground, smoke rising from their clothes and hair, wondering what hit them. 19 is out cold.  
  
After some grunting and moaning, 17 stands up and surveys the situation. "Uh. . . you haven't heard the last of us!" he yells. He nudges 18 with his toe. "Get up!" he whispers. "Come on!"  
  
18 pulls herself to her feet. 16 manages to stand rather shakily. "Hurry up!" 18 whispers urgently. 17 throws 19 over his shoulder and they beat a hasty retreat through the air.  
  
V.A. smirks after them. "All right!" Goku crows, throwing his arm around V.A.'s shoulders.  
  
"Get off me, baka!" V.A. shoves him away.  
  
Inside the house, Puar and Oolong cower in fear.  
  
"Come on, team," Piccolo says. "We need to follow them to find Dr. Gero."  
  
"Good luck!" Marron calls after them as they fly off.  
  
____________ ____________  
  
The Z warriors chase after the androids for several miles. Finally the androids slow down and seem to be approaching their destination. The scene: a large yellow building surrounded by various types of parked vehicles.  
  
The Z-Team follows as the androids enter the building. It is a large convention center full of milling people. Various booths are set up, full of strange looking gadgets. A large banner is hung from the ceiling, proclaiming, "Annual Mad Scientific Geniuses Convention."  
  
At the far end of the room is a large stage occupied by an ugly woman, a talking tiger, and Dr. Briefs. They are apparently taking turns showing off their inventions. The woman is happily demonstrating "Can-a-Man" for use in things like lifting heavy objects, reaching tall shelves, and dinner parties with your mother where you don't want her to bug you over your lack of a dating partner.  
  
The androids walk around to the right of the stage and through one of the many doors behind it. They go down a long hallway with many more doors on each side. They stop at one certain door and knock.  
  
"It's us, Dr. Gero." 17 announces.  
  
The door opens and Dr. Gero motions them in.  
  
The dressing room has been converted into a mad scientific genius's laboratory. Various simmering bottles with strange colored liquids stand on one table. Weird devices of twisted metal, suspicious looking capsules, dozens of tools, and a huge computer fill another table.  
  
"How did it go?" Dr. Gero demands.  
  
The androids scuff their feet and look at each other nervously. "Um. . . the old man sold the island but not to us. And the new owner refused to sell."  
  
"And then they beat us up!" 19 complains. He has only regained consciousness a few minutes ago and is still feeling woozy.  
  
"Shut up!" 18 hisses, hitting him over the head. "We didn't do that badly!"  
  
"Were you in the same fight I was in?" 16 asks in confusion. "Cause I thought they kicked our. . ."  
  
"Shut up!" 17 and 18 yell together.  
  
Dr. Gero rubs his head. "Let me get this straight. You have failed me once again?" The androids back up nervously. "The island is still not in my possession?" Rage overcomes him. "Who are these new owners? I want them dead!"  
  
Suddenly the door bursts open. "Were you looking for us?" Piccolo asks.  
  
The Z-Team runs in, looking intimidating. V.A. is smirking in a particularly nasty way.  
  
"Get them!" Dr. Gero shouts.  
  
"Not again. . ." 16 moans. 


	4. 4

The Z-Team, Chapter 4 By Elbereth in April and Kazam  
  
A/N: Please forgive us for not updating in forever. But we have begun once again, so stay on this channel. This chapter is short, but we'll keep writing.  
  
Dr. Gero rubs his head. "Let me get this straight. You have failed me once again?" The androids back up nervously. "The island is still not in my possession?" Rage overcomes him. "Who are these new owners? I want them dead!"  
  
Suddenly the door bursts open. "Were you looking for us?" Piccolo asks.  
  
The Z-Team runs in, looking intimidating. V.A. is smirking in a particularly nasty way.  
  
"Get them!" Dr. Gero shouts.  
  
"Not again. . ." 16 moans.  
  
The results of the fight are predictable. The androids lose. Again. The lab gets somewhat trashed. And Dr. Gero is really, *really* mad.  
  
The Z-Team strolls casually away.  
  
"Think they learned their lesson?" H.M. Goku asks cheerfully.  
  
"No," Piccolo says. "But they had to be given that chance to go straight."  
  
"Hn." V.A. scowls.  
  
Suddenly Goku stops, lifts his head, and smells the air. "Food!" He takes off jogging down the hall.  
  
V.A. perks up a bit and follows at a more rapid pace than normal. Piccolo and Yamcha glance at each other and shake their heads, but follow, too.  
  
When they round the corner they see several tables set up, covered with food for a buffet. The various scientists are standing in line with plates on trays, helping themselves.  
  
Goku and V.A. are loading food onto plates when Piccolo and Yamcha catch up. Piccolo just takes a bottle of water. Yamcha looks around the large room. At the next table over he catches sight of a familiar face.  
  
"Hey, Bulma!" he calls.  
  
The Z-Team and Bulma turn to look at each other. "Oh, hi guys," she greets them, walking over.  
  
"That's right, I forgot you'd be here," Vegeta states.  
  
"Yeah, I'm following Dad around," Bulma tells them, smiling. "I'm not sure where he disappeared to at the moment, though."  
  
Goku smiles, mouth full of the food he is shoving in at a frenzied pace. "We've been chasing villians!"  
  
Bulma turns to V.A., swishing her hips as she walks over to him and takes his arm possessively. "Has my strong, handsome Prince been beating up bad guys again?" she purrs, pressing up against him.  
  
He blushes just the tiniest bit, food cradled in one arm, woman in the other. ". . . yes. . ."  
  
She traces circles on his chest with her finger.  
  
"Do you have to PDA all the time?" Yamcha complains.  
  
"What's PDA?" Goku asks curiously.  
  
"Public display of affection."  
  
Goku wipes the last of the crumbs off his hands and puts his plate down. "You mean like this?" He throws himself at the cuddling couple and wraps his arms around both of them. "Group hug!"  
  
V.A. drops his food and shoves Goku violently away. "Kakkarot, you baka! Get away from me!"  
  
Unnoticed in the shadows, two figures watch them. One shakes her head. "We've been losing to a bunch of goofballs," she mutters.  
  
"They'll be gone soon," #17 murmurs. "And when they are--we'll grab that girl."  
  
__________ _____________  
  
"Dad's presentation is already done," Bulma tells the Z warriors as they finish eating. "But I'll probably be here all evening. This convention is proving pretty interesting--even though some of these mad scientists are really weird."  
  
"Have fun," Yamcha says as the Z-Team prepares to leave.  
  
Bulma walks away with one last wink at V.A. The warriors exit the building and take to the air, returning to Kame-House.  
  
Bulma happily makes her way down the hall, humming to herself and thinking of new inventions.  
  
Suddenly Android #17 leaps from the shadows, throwing one hand over her mouth and one arm around her waist, pinning her arms down.  
  
"Mmmm! Mmmm!" She tries to scream but can't.  
  
"Dr. Gero wants to see you," #17 says, laughing somewhat maniacally.  
  
____________ ____________  
  
Back on Kame Island, the Z-Team reports their activities to Krillin, Marron, and Roshi.  
  
"So what happens next?" Roshi asks.  
  
"We wait for their response," Piccolo replies. "The next move is theirs."  
  
As if on cue, the telephone rings.  
  
"I'll get it," Krillin volunteers. He picks up the phone. "Moshi moshi."  
  
"I want to talk to the owner of Kame Island," an evil voice hisses.  
  
"Um--I think he wants you, Piccolo." Krillin hands the phone over.  
  
"This is Colonel Piccolo."  
  
"If you ever want to see Bulma Briefs alive again," says the voice of Dr. Gero, "you'll come back here and bring the deed to that property with you."  
  
"They have Bulma," Piccolo announces.  
  
V.A. goes ballistic. "What? They've dared to touch my mate? *My* mate? I'll kill them! I'll blast a hole in them and pull out their entrails! I'll slice them to pieces! I'll cause them such pain they'll beg me to end their miserable little lives! I'll. . ."  
  
"V.A., that's gross," Goku interrupts.  
  
V.A. grabs him by the throat. "They must pay!"  
  
"Calm down, V.A. We'll get her back all right," Yamcha tries to reassure him.  
  
V.A. drops Goku and turns to him, scowling ferociously. Yamcha yelps and hides behind Marron.  
  
"We're on our way over," Piccolo says into the phone. "If she's harmed in any way, I'm afraid you'll seriously regret it. Just so you know-- kidnapping Bulma--*big* mistake."  
  
V.A. takes to the air.  
  
"Wait for us, V.A.!" Piccolo orders, but V.A. ignores him. He zooms away. Piccolo hangs up the phone and he and the others quickly follow.  
  
"Now V.A., don't blow up the whole convention center, OK?" Yamcha begs.  
  
Krillin, Roshi, and Marron wave goodbye. Inside the house, Puar and Oolong cower in fear.  
  
"They're weird," Roshi comments.  
  
"But they seem to get results." Krillin scratches his bald head. "Actually, it kind of looks like fun." He goes back into the house, dreaming of fighting bad guys. 


	5. The Building Scene

The Z-Team--Ch 5  
  
By Elbereth in April and Kazam  
  
A/N: In regards to the last chapter, all I can say is, Bulma is no Amy.  
  
Scene:  
  
Dr. Chong is looking stressed. He has been the head scientist in charge of the Annual Mad Scientific Geniuses Convention for five years now, but each convention sends him into paroxysms of worry.  
  
He is currently standing in the storage area in the convention center. This is a large room full of the best of everyone's inventions, the ones that are being demonstrated on stage.  
  
Two stupid-looking, burly workers are moving another invention into place, a large wooden crate full of Willy Wonka's Moveable Animal Cookies.  
  
"Now be careful," Dr. Chong pleads nervously. "Some of these items are delicate and irreplaceable. Think of the time and energy invested in their creation!"  
  
The men, one holding each side of the carton, stumble across the floor awkwardly.  
  
"This is a time-honored annual event. This convention is the backbone of creating friendly relations between scientists throughout the world. There is a long, historical tradition of holding these conventions--each one must be perfect. Most importantly, *this* one must be perfect. Nothing can go wrong. Remember the incident twelve years ago when Dr. Moto's Inflammable Water Resistant Armored 4-Wheel Drive Vehicle went up in flames?"  
  
"It *was* water-resistant, though," says stupid worker number one.  
  
"That never would have happened in the glorious days when we first started these meetings. When Dr. Mushroom held our very first event. . ." His expression verges on rapture.  
  
The workers throw the crate down on to the top of a pile of other containers with a grunt and a crash. Dr. Chong is jolted back to the present. "Be careful, I said!"  
  
"Yes, sir," worker number one sighs.  
  
"Think of what their creators would say if their inventions were damaged! Their disappointment! Their families' tears!"  
  
"The lawsuits," worker number two adds.  
  
"Yeah, and that Dr. Gero would send his androids after you," worker number one puts in.  
  
Dr. Chong thinks, 'I might be developing an ulcer.'  
  
_____________ ________________  
  
"The coast is clear," Android #19 whispers. Dr. Chong and his assistants have finally left.  
  
"All right. Set the trap," Android #17 says.  
  
______________ ________________  
  
By the time the Z-Team arrives back at the convention center, the other team members have managed to calm V. A. down. He is tracing Bulma's ki through the building.  
  
Finally he throws open the door to a large room full of boxes and many strange and varied inventions. Bulma is sitting on a chair in the center of the room, with her arms and legs tied and a gag in her mouth.  
  
The warriors pile into the room, and run to untie Bulma. Piccolo looks around for Dr. Gero or the androids but sees no one.  
  
Suddenly the door they came in by slams shut, and a holographic image of Dr. Gero appears in front of them, laughing manically.  
  
"You are now all my prisoners! You are trapped in that room! I have sealed all exits! You will remain there until you have signed that property deed--or until I kill you! I will give you one hour to decide which of these fates you would prefer!"  
  
The image disappears as the warriors rush to the door. It won't open. They try to break it down, but can't, nor the walls.  
  
While H. M. Goku continues to hurl himself at the walls, V. A. unties Bulma. "What do we do now?" Yamcha moans to Piccolo.  
  
"I have my tool kit," Bulma tells them, pulling a capsule out of her pocket.  
  
"That's it!" Piccolo exalts. "We'll use all these inventions and scientific stuff to build something to free ourselves and take down Dr. Gero and the androids!"  
  
Goku, V. A., and Yamcha all stare at Piccolo.  
  
"Um, OK," says Yamcha.  
  
"Oh boy!" Goku cries enthusiastically. "Let's do it!"  
  
"You four? Build anything?" Bulma begins to laugh hysterically.  
  
"Quiet, Woman!" V. A. takes the capsule from her. "We can do this!"  
  
[ Theme music plays as we begin Building Scene. . . ]  
  
V.A. opens the capsule and sets Bulma's tools on a table. Goku clears the rest of the table off by shoving all the glass tubes to the floor, where they shatter noisily. Goku reaches for the power saw.  
  
"What do you think you're doing, baka?" V.A. slaps his hand away. "That's too dangerous for you to handle."  
  
Goku pouts, then grins. "V.A., you're looking out for my safety! You do care!"  
  
"Gah! That's not what I meant, you crazy baka! No, don't touch me!"  
  
Meanwhile, Yamcha picks up a wrench. "Col. Smith did it, in the laboratory, with the wrench."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Guys!" Piccolo scolds them. "Get serious. Search around for stuff we can use or shape or change to make our defense against the enemy."  
  
"Right!" the other three say. Goku salutes. They make their way through the room, opening box lids, sniffing at suspicious gooey substances, poking, prodding, and pushing.  
  
Goku comes to stand in front of a large metal machine. Its insides are showing through a plastic cover--many wires and gears. The top part of the machine is silver, with four different colored buttons and two strange levers.  
  
"Oooh," he says, his eyes getting big. "What does this do?" His hand hovers in front of a button.  
  
V.A. pushes him away. "Don't touch anything!"  
  
"I can't help it," Goku whines. "Big shiny buttons! Different colors!"  
  
V.A. turns him in the other direction. "Go search over there." Goku sighs and moves over to another shelf.  
  
V.A. starts to leave, but his eyes are drawn back irresistibly to the machine. His hand starts to itch. Slowly, he reaches out and pulls a lever.  
  
The machine begins to hum loudly. Goku spins around, looking shocked and indignant.  
  
The gears on the inside of the machine start to turn. The whole thing begins to vibrate as the hum intensifies. Then everything stops, and a voice emits from the machine.  
  
"I shall now tell your fortune," it whirs. "You are a born lever- puller. Your lucky numbers are 2 and 10. You were born in the year of the dragon. You are clearly Royalty. You have known death but been reborn. I sense tragedy in your past. Today is a good day to invest in your future. Spend time with loved ones. . ."  
  
The machine drones on. Everyone has come to gather round it, surprised and amused. V.A. just stands there, blinking.  
  
"Your favorite color is blue. You are a proud, angry man. You have trouble dealing with your emotions. Remember, violence is not always the answer. You secretly are deeply in love with your wife. . ."  
  
V.A. starts to blush. Bulma giggles and latches on to his arm again.  
  
"Despite his lack of proper respect, your best friend is the last member of your race. . ."  
  
Goku grins and puts his arm around V.A., who starts to splutter.  
  
"You enjoy a good fight, good food, ballet dancing, macramé, and Hello Kitty. . ."  
  
"That's it!" V.A. explodes suddenly. He shoves Bulma and Goku away, powers up, and blows the machine to tiny pieces.  
  
"Now V.A., what did you do that for?" Bulma asks.  
  
"It lied! Kakkarot is not my best friend! He's an insane baka! And you're an ugly, hideous woman!"  
  
Bulma and Goku just grin knowingly.  
  
"Argh!" V.A. throws his hands in the air and stalks off.  
  
"Remember, violence isn't always the answer!"  
  
"Back to work," Piccolo orders.  
  
Goku proceeds to the far corner, which is stacked with boxes, six high. Goku pulls one out from the middle and the stack topples. "Oops."  
  
Yamcha is at their work table, holding what looks like a large radio. He is trying to pry the back off with a screwdriver to see what's inside. He can't seem to do it. Finally he just pulls it apart by main force, cracking the outside. He looks at what's left. There are a bunch of wires. He pokes at them. He obviously has no clue what they do. Eventually he just tosses it aside and goes to look for something else.  
  
"That was a multi-linguistic translator you just ruined," Bulma calls after him. He ignores her.  
  
Meanwhile, Goku has opened the crate he selected and peers inside. "Oooh, what's this do?" He pulls out a flat metal disc. "Is it a Frisbee?" He tosses it through the air to land next to V.A. It promptly explodes, taking out 12 boxes, 2 flat computer monitors hooked up to some strange plastic device, a 1/8-scale pirate ship made out of rubber, and a large wooden badger.  
  
V.A. drops the delicate-looking piece of machinery he was holding, which immediately shatters, and fires a small ki blast at Goku, destroying 25 more boxes, melting a very fascinating-looking machine in the shape of a pipe organ, and a microwave made out of felt.  
  
"Stop that," Piccolo scolds.  
  
Goku sheepishly rubs the back of his head. V.A. scowls.  
  
Yamcha turns back to the invention in front of him. "Huh. What does this do?" He pushes a square, yellow button. It rises slowly off the ground, then sputters and explodes, singing Yamcha somewhat. "Oops."  
  
Goku is throwing boxes off shelves. Loud crashes can be heard. Piccolo winces.  
  
V.A., unable to help himself, finds his hand reaching out to pull a lever on what looks like a giant Pez-dispenser with a demented rat head. His hand comes down. The machine makes a rattling noise, then a compartment on the side opens and starts dropping out gumballs made out of spun sugar, C-4, and a hard chocolate coating. They roll across the floor, detonating a number of other creations, one of which explodes in a magnificent firey ball. V.A. hastily puts the lever back in its original position.  
  
"Did you notice how a lot of these inventions seem to involve explosives?" Yamcha scratched his head.  
  
"This is a *mad* scientists convention. They're usually obsessed with world domination and stuff."  
  
Meanwhile in Piccolo's corner, something goes, "Bonk! Sprong!" He pulls his hand away guiltily. "Oops."  
  
"I can't take it anymore!" Bulma cries. "If you destroy everything in sight, we'll be stuck here forever--until they come kill us! You--you two Saiyans! Go stand in that corner and *don't touch anything* or I'll see you don't get fed for a week! Piccolo! Go meditate or something. Over there! And you--Yamcha! Sit against that wall and keep quiet. Let a beautiful genius work!"  
  
"Oooh, are you going to weld something? Can I help?"  
  
"Goku! Sit! Stay!"  
  
"Baka," V.A. mutters.  
  
"V.A., I see what you're doing! Put that Velocitator down!"  
  
"A what?" Boing, sprunk, crash. "Oops."  
  
"Yamcha!"  
  
"I wasn't touching it!"  
  
Bulma sighs, rolls her eyes, quickly surveys the room, produces a number of parts from somewhere and an interesting-looking capsule, and goes to work. 


	6. 6

The Z-Team by Elbereth in April and Kazam  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 6  
  
Dr. Gero looks at his watch and turns to the four androids. "It is time," he tells them.  
  
They walk down the halls of the convention center to the storage room where they left the Z-Team. Dr. Gero pauses in front of the door. "Where's that theme music coming from?"  
  
# 18 looks at him blankly. "What?"  
  
#17 ignores them and reaches for the doorknob. Suddenly he hears a strange rumbling. That gets louder, and louder.  
  
Kaboom!  
  
A large armored vehicle bursts through the door and the wall. It has a steel ram on the front and steel plating on the sides. It has tank tire treads. Spikes protrude from the hubcaps. Machine guns are mounted on the roof. V.A. is driving and Bulma is riding in the passenger seat. Piccolo, Yamcha, and Goku are on the roof, madly firing the guns.  
  
Dr. Gero and the androids leap frantically out of the way. #17 and #18 fire ki blasts at the vehicle, which bounce off the armor. The Z warriors are still firing the guns, missing the androids completely, but severely damaging the walls of the building.  
  
"What are these things again? Bulma just said, pull the trigger," Goku says.  
  
"I can't hit anything. I've never shot a gun before," Yamcha complains.  
  
"We're not allowed to hurt anyone anyway," Piccolo reminds them. "This is the American Funimation version."  
  
"Why can't we just ki blast them?"  
  
"Um. . ." Piccolo sweatdrops.  
  
The androids run down the hall, the vehicle in pursuit. They reach the large main room of the convention center.  
  
The scientists see them coming and start to scream. They run in all directions. Dr. Chong, onstage, yells, "Don't panic! Oh dear me! How can this be happening?" His eyes roll back in his head and he passes out. Workers number one and two pick him up and run backstage.  
  
The vehicle veers abruptly and runs into the wall, rights itself, and runs into the wall again.  
  
"Hey!" Piccolo calls down to V.A. "What are you two up to down there?" He leans over and peers into the window. Bulma and V.A. look at him innocently. Bulma is latched onto V.A.'s arm again. "Do I have to separate you two?"  
  
V.A. scowls at him. Piccolo smirks and sits back up.  
  
"Wait!" Yamcha says frantically. "Stop! Go back!"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Didn't you see that girl we just passed? I need to get her phone number!"  
  
"Keep firing, Yamcha!"  
  
The bad guys reach the far end of the room. The armored car pulls up by them to block the door.  
  
"Let's get them!" Goku yells excitedly, and jumps off the roof.  
  
"Might as well," Piccolo says, and he and Yamcha jump off the roof as well, landing on Androids #17 and #19. Goku is beating up #16, while V.A. comes running up and attacks #18.  
  
After a number of energy blasts, kicks, and punches, #19 is once again unconscious and the other three androids have surrendered.  
  
"No!" Dr. Gero screams. "This isn't over! I refuse to give up!"  
  
Bulma gets out of the car and stands in front of the Doctor, with her arms crossed and a smirk she picked up from V.A. "You can't win," she says triumphantly. "The Z-Team is too strong a force."  
  
"I have a last resort! A secret weapon!" He cackles madly. He pulls out a communicator and speaks into it. "Cell! Come join us!"  
  
The Z-Team get back into fighting crouches. They all wait. After a moment Bulma begins to tap her foot impatiently. "Well?"  
  
"I don't understand." Dr. Gero frowns. "I had him in an incubator in the storage room. Why isn't he coming?"  
  
Goku raises his hand.  
  
"Yes, Goku?" Piccolo sighs.  
  
"What did it look like?"  
  
Dr. Gero thinks. "Well, it was a large glass test tube with a green creature growing in it, hooked up to a computer."  
  
Goku grins widely. "Oh, I saw that!" Then he rubs the back of his head sheepishly. "I'm afraid I broke it. Then V.A. ki blasted it after I threw that Frisbee at him. Sorry."  
  
Everyone falls over.  
  
The Z warriors and Bulma get back up. Dr. Gero remains on the ground, weeping.  
  
Suddenly the girl Yamcha was ogling shoves her way through the crowd to stand in front of them. "I'm Videl Satan, and you five are under arrest!"  
  
The scientists all applaud.  
  
"What's more, you'll never invent anything bad again," Bulma declares. "We're all on to you now." She indicates the other scientists. "We'll be watching."  
  
Videl begins to lead them away.  
  
"Wait!" Dr. Chong materializes, and hands Dr. Gero a piece of paper.  
  
"What's this?"  
  
"It's the bill for the damages to this center."  
  
Dr. Gero begins to cry again.  
  
"Wait!"  
  
They all look at Yamcha. He is giving Videl his most charming smile. "Miss Satan, could I take you out for dinner Saturday?"  
  
Videl just gives him a look. "I already have a love interest. Goodbye."  
  
She takes Dr. Gero and the androids away. Yamcha sulks.  
  
Piccolo looks around the room, a very satisfied expression on his face. "I love it when a plan comes together."  
  
"Do you think there's any food left?" Goku whines.  
  
"Baka," V.A. mutters.  
  
Suddenly an alarm begins beeping on Bulma's watch. She turns it off and looks at her miniature computer and security monitor. "Oh no!" She looks at the guys with wide eyes. "This is terrible!" she moans.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"You've been discovered! You have to get out of here!"  
  
"Oh no!" Yamcha cowers behind Piccolo. "Frieza's found us?"  
  
"Even worse! It's Chi-Chi! She's on her way right now!"  
  
The Z-Team members exchange looks of horror. Piccolo throws down a capsule. "Everybody! Back in the van!"  
  
"Call that Roshi and tell him that his island is safe and his once again. OK, Bulma?" Piccolo says. They pile in to the van. V.A. guns the engine.  
  
"OK. Good luck!" Bulma waves and blows a kiss as the van plows through another wall on its way to the main road.  
  
"Why do we even have this van, anyway?" Yamcha can be heard saying as they drive out of sight.  
  
Theme music once again plays. . .  
  
______________ ____________  
  
Dr. Chong has finally recovered from his state of near collapse after watching that van destroy three more walls, a buffet table, and two air- cars. The scientists had decided to continue showing their inventions on what was left of the stage. Dr. Chong and his two workers were opening a (different) door to the storage room.  
  
The door opens. Dr. Chong looks inside. His eyes roll up in the back of his head. Worker number two manages to catch him as he passes out.  
  
"I think we're going to be working overtime for this," says worker number one. "We'd better get paid extra."  
  
Scene fades. . .  
  
Roll credits. 


End file.
